He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
