there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
