I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
be right there i have to get my cape
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Randomize
