Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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