the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
