I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
