So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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