ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sext me about skeletons
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
