Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He passed out mid-signature
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
