sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
