Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
