I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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