Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
