Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
