I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
