I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
