His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
