my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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