I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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