That's intense
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
