i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
