this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
