WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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