i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
