I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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