Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
