Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
