found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
