Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
