Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
