You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm at about main and main street
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
