that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
