You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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