Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
