I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
