I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
