And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
