I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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