they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
