That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
