sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
