I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
