she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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