Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
