If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
