his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Do vagina's smell?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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