I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize