i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
