All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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