I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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